I’ve never handled change very well. A lot of people have trouble with it, when in reality, it’s something that we should probably be used to by now. After all it happens ever single day.
When I’m thinking back to my kids, in my mind they are always about 4 or 5 years old, which round, little faces, toothless smiles and those big blue eyes. It’s kind of ridiculous how quickly those small humans turned into actual people with opinions and their ever-growing independence.
The Big One is almost 15 now. He recently completed Driver’s Ed and I know that he only has a few short years until he goes to college. That realization hits me out of nowhere from time to time and I just can’t believe this boy is almost a man. Over this summer, he’s struck out on his own more. He has a friend that has a driver’s license and they’ve been going fishing and hunting and getting out more. I’m glad he has this kid. I know his parents and think so much of their whole family.
And I’m not ready for him to be sliding shoes on, kissing my cheek and running out the door with “I love you too, Mom. I’ll be home later.”
And I say a little prayer for his safety and that he makes good choices.
I hope that we’ve taught him how to stand up for what he believes in. I hope that he’s strong in his convictions and that if he sees someone that needs his help, that he’ll give it with good intentions. I hope that he doesn’t fall to peer pressure if and when he find himself in a particular situation.
That’s why parenting is such a crap-shoot. You don’t know if you’ve done a good job until years have passed and we’ve turned these humans loose in public to be productive members of society. If I do a crappy job with my clients, I’m going to know pretty quickly. With these kids, we may not know if we’ve screwed them up until years later.
So for the time I still have him at home with us, I’m going to hug him (even when he struggles against me), snoodle him every chance I get, kiss his cheek when he bends down to my height and make him text me when he gets where he’s going.
To the other mamas of teens in this season of life, stay strong.
— E
Life Inside Looking Out 