As I sit this morning, the house is quiet, a rare occurrence since the kids started learning from home weeks ago. The dog is curled up next to me, I think he’s probably enjoying the silence too. The kids are sleeping and will be up arguing in no time. Sigh.
When North Carolina initiated the Stay-at-home order on March 27th, I wasn’t really that bothered by it. Honestly, I was thinking, “Stay at home? Sure. Only go out when necessary, perfect, I already do that. I was made for this social distancing thing. Besides 6 feet of space is what I’ve been dreaming about.” Really, not much changed in our day to day. Since we used to homeschool, that wasn’t a big deal to switch back to teaching at home. I love being able to make our own schedule. Let me be clear, this is not normal homeschooling though. Normally, we would be going out to do things, homeschool group, meeting up with friends, letting the kids play. We would learn math at the store while getting our groceries. We would have talks about nature at the park. Our current situation is not our normal homeschooling schedule. But we took it in stride and got to work. (Let me add, that several weeks in, I’m getting a little nutty and I actually miss a handful of people). Getting groceries was a struggle because some people bought everything. Seriously, everything. I’m sure you’ve seen the same thing. The meat section was wiped out, no toilet paper or paper towels. I told the kids we were going to have to live off pasta, not that I mind. I’ve never met a carb I didn’t like, besides it’s cheap and it keeps.
Since I’m a nurse, I continued going to work. They’ve added restrictions, screenings when you get there to start your shift, and mask-wearing for the whole. 12. hours. Ya’ll, that’s a loooonnnnngggg shift when you have to wear that. It irritates our faces and rubs our ears. You can’t breathe. I have a smidge of hearing loss (ok, maybe more than a smidge) and I never realized how much I use facial cues and lip-reading to get through a conversation. I don’t really mind the limited visitors. New moms and babies, they need rest and time to adjust. There’s fundal rubs, breastfeeding, no sleep, babies cry, ice packs, giant underpants. I know it’s probably not what some moms would want, but]we’re doing the best we can with what we have.
But in the real world of nursing, I’m not deep in the trenches. I’m not working with patients on vents that have a low probability of surviving, so I’m not going to complain too much. Those nurses are the real deal and I have SO much respect for them. A guy that I went to nursing school with is now in NYC, after working in New Orleans, and I think of him and so many others frequently. I can’t imagine working in such difficult conditions and knowing that so many of your patients would never recover to walk out of the hospital to see their families. That’s what makes nursing a work of the heart. You are there in the beginning of life and at the end, and wonderful and difficult moments in between.
Noah’s a homebody. He always has been. He likes to interact with his friends but he’s perfectly happy to be at home too. He’s fine learning at home, just us. He does well and can get all his questions answered. He’s missed some of his school friends… but not a lot. He talks to his friends while gaming and I can hear his laughing all the way downstairs talking to his cousins and friends.
For Avery, it’s been a whole other thing. This girl LOVES school. Like, loves it more than any kid I’ve ever met. She loves her teacher and her classmates. She thrives on routine and likes knowing what’s coming next. Coronavirus has turned her world upside down. We were riding in the car last week, and she was being the DJ. A song came on that we’ve listened to a million times. I glanced back and she was SOBBING. I asked her what was wrong and she said, between heavy breaths, “I just miss my friends so much.” It broke my heart for her. I knew that she was having a hard time with isolation, but it didn’t hit me how much until then. My poor girl. I’ve been smothering her in snuggles so hopefully that’s helping. By the way, she calls it “Crayola Virus” and I think that’s hilarious. I can’t call it anything else now.
I can’t say whether we should continue to isolate or to reopen. I know that there are people out there that aren’t working and are struggling to feed their families. I know that there are people that have underlying health concerns that make this life-threatening. I know that there are kids out there that don’t have internet access and fall further behind everyday. I know that there are healthcare workers out there working themselves to death to try and keep patients alive to see their families again. I know there are small business owners that may never be able to reopen their doors after such an economic hit. I completely see both sides of the argument. I will not participate in that controversy.
I’m going to say is this:
I value the life. All of them.
My husband is a small business owner and I’ve seen him stress over the state of the economy.
My kids have barely left the house in weeks and have handled it in very different ways.
We’ve also spent so much quality time together. We’ve baked bread and desserts, cleaned the house, played with chalk outside, done puzzles, cleaned the house, worked in the yard, cut down on “busy time”, cleaned the house, picked strawberries. The list goes on. I can’t trade that time for anything. They grow up so fast and will be off to college before I can blink.
Please let me leave you with this: In these most difficult times, please be kind. Everyone is dealing with tough stuff. Please keep that in mind as you’re going through your day. And don’t believe everything you hear on the news or on social media. The old saying, “if it’s on the internet, it must be true” is definitely NOT true. Besides, it will just depress you (or maybe that’s just me).
Life Inside Looking Out 