A Change In The Weather

I don’t have any bad joints.  No trick knee or “old football injury.”  But over the years of being a nurse I have assessed many adults that have had those types of complaints.  Many said that it was worse or acted up when a storm rolls in or a hurricane was on the way.

I’ve been thinking that grief is a lot like that.

Not initially, but now that it has been about 18 months and the sharp stab has dulled a little, it seems like that is how my grief behaves. Obviously not in regards to the weather, but with dates and anniversaries or people I see that I haven’t seen in a while.  When these instances get close, my heart starts to ache and   Unfortunately, I can’t take ibuprofen to take that pain away.  There isn’t a pill that will take eliminate my heartache (although if I could come up with that, hello Billionaire status!)

My guess is that if you have lost anyone important to you, maybe your spouse or your parent or your child, this might be happening to you too.  The first time you celebrate a holiday, or a birthday.  Or if you are reminded that your loved one loved something.

My recommendation when these pains start is to lean into it.  For a while.  It’s not somewhere you can stay for a long time but you can spend a few minutes or hours in that downpour of sorrow.  I can honestly say that sometimes it would be easier to just drown in that flood.  But my family that I have left would suffer for it.

So allocate the time you need in those moments to remember these beautiful people that had this influence on your life.  Try to remember the good moments when you could touch them, hug them, hold them and not the agony of them leaving.  You let the tears fall and your vision blur.

Then you wipe your face, brush your hair out of your face and get back to your battle of life.