In The Beginning…

This is my life as a grieving mother. This will be how I live until the end of my life. Often it feels like I’m watching my life be lived for me while I stand still, move in slow motion or in reverse.

I’ve decided to use this format to work through the loss of my beautiful son, Heath when he was 15 days old. I held him as the respirators were turned off and he took his last breaths. It was a pain that I cannot describe or forget.

I am unapologetically open about him and the journey that he has put me on. If I can help one person with this experience, as awful as it has been, it has been worth it. His life HAS to count for something. The conversations that have come about since his death have brought to light some very difficult emotions — anger, bitterness, sadness, depression and jealousy to name a few. They say it’s normal. What do I know of normal? I promise you, not very much.

I don’t expect everyone to agree with me all the time. And that’s ok. This platform is for me and those that may benefit from it. If I can meet and help some people while I work on me, then that’s all the better!